40 Songs at 40

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At the end of 2022 I turned 40, part of a monumental year in my life where I had my first sabbatical after 7 years of leading our church, successfully defended my doctoral thesis (now a book), went "home" to Pennsylvania in the summer for first time in a decade, graduated with my PhD (in England, with an added trip to London), celebrated 15 years of marriage, and then capped it off by turning 40.

That was a lot of journeys--vocational, educational, relational--coming to an end or full circle, or whatever you want to call it.

Anyway, nothing tells the soundtrack of our lives like, well, a soundtrack!

And so for my 40th, I decided to put together the soundtrack of my 40 favorite or most impactful/meaningful songs, and I'm finally getting around to sharing it here (just a few days before turning 41!).

I guess a warning is needed that I've been somewhat known for my eclectic or "strange" (I call it sophisticated and beautiful) taste in music and fondness for obscure artists and songs.

RELATED POST: MY FAVORITE 15 ALBUMS

People often ask what "genre" or description describes my music.

While you'll find several genres included in this list and labels are always difficult with music that isn't radio-friendly cookie-cutter, the best categories are likely: shoegaze, dream pop, slowcore, indie, noise pop, and soul.

Words of description would be: atmospheric, haunting, ethereal, melancholy, dark (but hopeful), spacey, dreamy, emotional . . . I think you get the point!

This is music best played in the dark late at night while lying on your back or driving alone down a dark highway.

In no particular order, as it would of course depend on time of year, time of day, my mood, and so many other factors.

Note: Rather than link every song or artist, I simply refer you to:

"40 Songs at 40" Spotify Playlist

1. "Humm" - The Violet Burning

The opening lyrics are the perfect start to this playlist:

"Turn out all the lights and let's begin / Switch on all the dark and let the music spin."

The full album, Drop Dead (appropriately released on Valentine's Day), was frequently blasted on road trips with my then-girlfriend-now-wife.

2. "Tracing Paper" - Monarch

I'll be tempted to say many times throughout this list "this is the best band you've never heard of," so I'll just say it now about Monarch! Brennan Strawn's vocals and music are tragically mostly unknown and hard to find.

3. "If I Could Build Castles" - GM & LN

From what is probably my favorite Gary Murray/LN album, and yet probably his most unknown record due to being self-released, unlike his Velvet Blue Music releases.

How can you not get chills when he croons, "And what are these hands for / If not the curve of your spine?"

4. "Trophies" - Luxury

If you don't know Lee Bozeman and his many musical outlets including Luxury, you're missing out. This song is about marriage. Awesome bassline.

5. "Oh Girl" - Raphael Saadiq

A more well-known artist (to some). A throwback soul sound.

6. "Felicity, Darling" - Ester Drang

To be played loud and in the dark to allow the sounds to swirl around you.

This song might best sum up my musical proclivities as it combines shoegaze with dream pop and contains moments of quiet simplicity as well as loud walls of sound.

The buildup at 6:00 is one of my favorite moments on any song ever.

7. "Pillars" - Sunny Day Real Estate

From the "pillars" of emo, SDRE. I've always preferred this live version.

8. "I Was Born in Omaha" - The Gloria Record

Sort of a weird one from a band I have no idea what happened to. But the album was a staple in my 5-Disc changer during late nights in my college dorm room.

9. "Made for Jesus" - John Mark Pantana & Olivia Dyer

Great combination of vocalists.

10. "California" - LN

One of the main reasons I've still never been to California is so I can sing along on this song with truthful emotion!

11. "Like Water On a Glass Table" - GLASWING

Side project of Aaron Marsh of Copeland fame. Somehow the music fits the title.

12. "River On Fire" - Adam Again

The late, great Gene Eugene at his best. The liner notes to Worldwide Favourites simply states: "Our finest song. I believe that it's one of the saddest songs ever."

You had me at "saddest songs ever"! It's about his marriage breakdown and divorce to Riki Michele, who amazingly sings vocals on the track - whoa.

13. "Kolnidur" - Jonsi

One of if not the best concerts I've ever been to.

14. "I Hope Your Heart Runs Empty" - NeverEnding White Lights

Daniel Victor of Windsor, Ontario is the sole person behind the songs of NWL, and is the classic definition of tortured artist (read the liner notes on this album!). Years and years poured into this project.

15. "The Starflyer 2000 Reprise" - Starflyer 59

So, the actual song I want here is called "Starflyer 2000" from the 1995 Art Core Volume One Tooth & Nail sampler. But needless to say it's not on Spotify and nearly impossible to find (not the only song this was the case for on my list!).

But luckily I have the original CD so I can at least play it for myself and hear the lush vocals of Leigh Bingham (now Nash) singing this. This version doesn't compare to that one, but is still good enough to be on this list.

The liner notes for this song on that sampler simply say: "Finally a sad song to fall in love with with your sweetheart."

16. "Point #1" - Chevelle

Maybe a bit of a surprise, but representative of my hard rock phase. Had a blast at this concert (before Chevelle was known, in a tiny room) and still have the guitar pick Pete Loeffler tossed out into the mosh, which he signed for me afterwards.

17. "Twilight Eyelight" - Denison Marrs

The ultimate "spacey" music about space from the band with the spacey name.

18. "John My Beloved" - Sufjan Stevens

Probably the most well-known artist on this list. Like everyone else I like to say (or whine) that "I liked him and had his albums way before he became big time!"

19. "The Love We Had (Stays On My Mind)" - The Dells

I had to have been the only kid in my high school regularly blasting The Dells, The Delfonics, The Dramatics (why do they all start with D?) and other soul ballad bands.

You'll still find me regularly singing/mouthing out loud the part "But early this mornin' . . ."!

20. "It's All in Vain" - Redeemed

One of the newest artists and songs on this list, but one I'm increasingly enjoying.

21. "Pope" - Copeland

Welcome to the dream world of Aaron Marsh. Can't believe I don't yet have a physical copy of this album (one of the few).

22. "The War on Women" - Luxury

A song about the loss of innocence, regrets, and the sins of one's youth. Bozeman's album notes (this one is a mini book and can be found in PDF if you look around) are always an interesting read.

23. "Drunkard's Prayer" - Over the Rhine

Beautifully played and sung at our wedding by Laura and Todd Gummerman (of Mutemath & 21 Pilots)

24. "Sweetness" - Damien Jurado, Richard Swift

Jurado and Swift put out a record together of old soul classics!? How can it not be amazing? RIP Richard Swift.

25. "Save Your" - Monarch

Everything about this song is gorgeous. Monarch's music is amazing and the up and down emotions of the lyrics match the music:

"Once more I drag my feet through your will . . . / All my life I've been afraid / Tell me I'll be safe / Lord arrive, I am here / Bring the tide, drown my fear / Take the weight I've held so long."

26. "Good Man" - Raphael Saadiq

Sort of a fun one.

27. "It's Not Enough" - The Modern Post

Ecclesiastes-inspired song that captures the heart of that book nicely. We actually did this song as a part of our Easter message and service theme! Not your typical Easter "song special" :)

28. "Pearls" - Sade

Had to have a Sade song on this list. Was hard to choose.

29. "The Ocean Plays The Saddest Song" - LN

The title says it all.

30. "Untitled #2 - Fyrsta" - Sigur Ros

Was hard to pick one Sigur Ros song, but "untitled" seems fitting.

31. "Gold and Silver" - Stavesacre

The hard rockers produce a stunning psalm-like lament with hope. Love the line "I'm praying for my prayers." I much prefer this slightly stripped down version from 2001's Collective more than the original from '99's Speakeasy.

32. "Seamonster" - The Violet Burning

Inspired by Micah 7:19. Bet you never thought of Jesus as a "seamonster," but this is the kind of artful creativity missing from most mainstream CCM.

I prefer the version from the "Experiment in Vibe" album, but can't find it on Spotify, which means you get the "bonus track" album reprise at the end here since this is the last song on Demonstrates Plastic and Elastic.

I have a lot of Violet Burning stories from concerts (and once hosted them myself for a concert at our church), including singing the extremely dark psalm of lament "Low" with them on stage.

But at the end of one concert (at the legendary, now extinct, Club Laga in Pittsburgh) I shouted out a request for this song. Pritzl proceeded to go over to an old piano or possibly organ and beautifully and spontaneously played and sang this song, and then personally thanked me afterwards for requesting it.

33. "Keep Shining" - Shad

Canadian rapper offers refreshing tribute to women in protest of misogynistic rap.

34. "Next Time Around" - Starflyer 59

For a while you could only find this song on 7 inch single, which only added to its lore.

35. "This Women's Work" (Live) - Maxwell

Beautiful cover of Kate Bush song.

36. "Dear Sarah" - GM & LN

Obviously I could have filled this list with even more LN songs. If these lyrics and vocals don't haunt you . . .

37. "Jericho Road" - Damien Jurado

A song from the ever-prolific Jurado from what I and most consider the best musical stretch of his career (his Maraqopa Trilogy). Love Swift's BGVs.

38. "I Don't Want to Live (In A World of Infinite Keys)" - Ester Drang

Couldn't have said it better myself.

39. "For You" - Cool Hand Luke

If you saw these guys in concert during their peak in the late 90s/early 00s, you know these were some seriously intense indie rockers. Usually played with their backs to the crowd so as to focus on the music (and the Lord) and not entertain.

40. "Thank You" - My Spacecoaster

A fitting end to my life soundtrack (in its own obscure way), for in/at the end, what more can be said?