Still in Love

Note: this is one of a few archived blog posts I carried over from my old site just for fun and to preserve some “history.” It may or may not reflect current thoughts or feelings. This post is from August 2010.

Hannah and I recently celebrated our three-year wedding anniversary. Coming into marriage I had high expectations, especially because I’m a bit of a romantic. Three years in, I can honestly say that my expectations have been exceeded—marriage is even better than I had hoped.

I’m not sure I know all the reasons marriage has worked out so well for us. Many friends have really struggled through their first years of marriage, and some sadly were divorced by the three-year mark. Obviously, the number one reason is God’s grace and faithfulness to us and his hand upon our relationship. Here are some other reasons marriage has been such an enjoyable experience for us:

1) A spiritual and intellectual connection. Basically, we have similar goals and vocational interests. We’re both ministers, and we both love to teach and to learn. We met in Hebrew class, and our first dozen or so dates were translation dates!

2) Fitting our roles to our strengths and interests rather than pre-determined roles. We don’t have a stereotypical marriage when it comes to responsibilities. For example, I do all the grocery shopping and Hannah does anything that involves holding a tool because we each enjoy doing those things.

3) Setting aside time for each other. This is not easy and we certainly fail at times, but we try hard to block out a day or night to spend focused time with one another. This involves the discipline to say no to other things, which can be tough. But I try to always remember that I can’t be a leader to others if I don’t first take care of my own marriage.

4) Savoring and appreciating the little things. One of my daily prayers is “Lord, help me to savor and appreciate all the little things about Hannah and let my appreciation for them grow.” This makes a huge difference. It’s always easier—especially in marriage—to focus on the 10% flaws rather than the 90% good in a person. This prayer helps me not to forget all the great things that made me fall in love at the beginning.